Psychic Psycho / Someone to Entertain my Mind
So today’s news- my sisters boyfriends sister (got that?) had a little girl. Crazy thing is I totally called the name of the baby yesterday. Weird because I don’t even know his sister, know what she looks like, ect. So why in the hell I randomly blurted an Italian name out on the phone yesterday and my sister tells me this morning that it was in fact the name of the newborn is just out of this world. I mean ok I dabble, if you can call it that, in the arts but I mean to go as far as calling out a name-that was so insane. I mean yes I can get vibes and can guess or “see” some things but never that dead on ever! For instance Frog wanted to know if he should go fishing the other night to catch stripers and I felt that he would-and he did- many of them. But that’s just a guess of my third eye-but a baby’s name….I scared myself.
No answer but looking online I could totally see why he wouldn’t even want to check his email at this point in time…due to all the “constructive criticisms” viewers of the world like to dish out about people that they think the know so much about just because they have been exploited by some editorial crew just to gain good ratings for their network. Wow that was a mouthful. Ok maybe it was the fact that I have had stuff like that brought up to me by various people but in all honestly I think it hurt for about 5 seconds because I can care less what the fuck all these people think of my acting because I was the person on the screen not them. So, due to the fact that I was chosen and not them shows a lot about skill…no matter what anyone wants to state. I can not care about others opinions because if I did that would show lack of self in my case. I was young, it was my first acting debut, of course I sucked. By still it was I on that “silver screen” not anyone else. So Doll---I really want to tell you to just not give a shit but I believe that you might just be doing that now.
Wedding is approaching—can I really care any less……………
Frog was home from work practically all day yesterday…oh what a complete joy.
I have an interview next week that I really don’t know much about. I am hoping that this will in fact be the one and I will be able to move on in my motivated lifestyle. I really do believe that this will be a learning experience as well as a milestone in my life that will definitely be critiqued for a long time by others around me but I really do have to do what is best for me and my life and isn’t this what the fight was about anyway….how I am not in fact living my life the way that I want to and to my fullest potential and be happy about it. That is my main gripe about all the bs going on. I really need to just get over myself and this pseudo dream around me. It will never be, so, I need to really totally except that as well as have others understand as well. Not like I really care what everyone is going to say and think- and of course it will all be harsh. But my strength is coming, slowly but surely, to its full power and I really need to use it all to make myself successful and do everything to the best of my ability. I need back the self I lost and gain the life I wanted and that was semi taken away from me. I definitely am entitled to be selfish right now.
I am in fact hoping that the “dream” will in fact be a reality, as I have no doubt in my mind that I will not be able to accomplish my goals. But the rest of the stuff I guess I‘m speaking relationship/friendship wise, I have nothing to do with at the moment-I will just sit back and wait letting the river take its course. Because if it is meant to be, which I agree within myself it definitely is a long shot, but if it in fact does occur I would be truly grateful to even have such an experience. I do believe chemistry will be there but if not anything more a great friendship will defiantly be made. I am a very strong woman and I am very confident that if we do meet it will go my way. But then again which way am I going?? LOL honestly it has been of course haunting my mind ever since words were exchanged and I really hope that it will come to be –when I don’t know but I hope soon because it would be nice to just relax for one night and have someone entertain my mind for once so I can shut up and listen to another person and be intrigued with their personality and dare I say it “Eat, Drink And Be Merry” of course that will be that case. ‘tis moi that we are talking about….
Ill give it a couple more days ...then I promise never to bring it up again.
This is when my lazy ass angel gets off his fat Italian ass and gives in to his role...whatever that is!
P.S. I really hope he doesn’t ever read this. It reads kind of immature from an adult stand point but then again it is only a dream-right?
posted by PlatinumStar @ 5/17/2006 01:41:00 PM
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